3 weeks down, 13 to go!

Wow it has only been 3 weeks since Brett left. I knew the first month was going to go by slow but not this slow! I swear he has been gone for 100 yrs already.

I just want to share how amazing Brett is and how much I love him. Every girl says they want a man that is like their fathers (not in a gross way). I tried and tried but none could even hold a candle stick to my father, I thought maybe my goal wasn't realistic, then I met Brett. DING DING DING we have a winner! This man is the most selfless person. I have never met a man that is so willing to do whatever it takes to make things work. His main concern is and has always been making sure that I am happy, and he does whatever it takes to make sure that happens. I have never had a relationship be so easy. It takes little to no effort what so ever. Fighting is not in our vocabulary in this relationship and making each other laugh is. When I have little baby girl(s) with him they are going to have the same thoughts as I did towards and about my dad "I want to marry someone exactly like my dad" and they are going to have one hell of a time just like I did finding him. Not only do I get a man that treats me like a princess but I have a man who dedicated to his career and nothing is more attractive than a man who knows whats he wants. Might I just add that he looks AMAZING in uniform as well, couldn't ask for more than that! Every girl should be very jealous that I have an amazing man like him.. To bad i'm not a sharer!

My Chemical imbalance! ITs their fault!

Its not a news flash that I have a chemical imbalance in my effed up head so I am and have been on antianxiety meds since I was like 12 because my parents suck! haha ok not for real, but kind of! While Brett was preparing to leave I was trying some new medication (gosh i sound like a nut case) and it was making me absolutely sick, I could not even function, so needless to say I stopped taking it to let my body get back to normal pH so I could start from fresh. I am not very pleasant to be around, just ask my mother she'll tell you, she doesn't hesitate to kick me while i'm down hahahhahah (I love my mother dearly, we have a special bond, she needs meds too haha). SSSOO while we're sitting here watching tv tonight laughing I made a negative remark and she said " YOU REALLY NEED TO GET ON SOME MEDICATION" I simply replied "WHY DON"T YOU JUST CALL ME A FAT WHORE?" hahahaha You really have to know me and my family to understand the kind of humor that we share with each other. I am incredibly funny at all times of the day and occasionally I make a rude remark here and there and occasionally its quite often.



I wrote the beginning of this blog a while ago, since then I have gotten my whole med situation worked out and I feel much better and I have more friends.



When I went to the Doctor it was a student doctor who first came in to do the initial check up and she asked a whole bunch of really stupid ass questions and quite frankly acted like a damn bitch (sorry no other word for her). Well we were going through my chart to see what antidepressants i've tried and let me just tell you that I have tried all of them, i guess. So she looks at me and says "Have you ever thought of trying bipolar medication?" hahahahah my jaw just dropped and I just stared at her. She follows with "Well what I mean is, do you think your bipolar, have you ever felt suicidal?" I said with a very stern tone "NO". My sister was with me and she pipes up "oh yes she may be bipolar" and let me just tell you that I have never wanted to hit her so hard in my life. At that point I really had nothing to say I was so damn mad. The Doctoe tells me how there is 2 types of bipolar.1 you have extremt up and downs, and 2 you are always down and then you got and all time low and then come back up to just down. Well by this time I had enough and was like "I AM NOT BIPOLAR, I don't have extreme downs for one thing and I am not at a low everyday, and I NEVER HAVE EXTREME UPS AND DOWNS!" so from this she was asking me a bunch of other questions and she asked me why I stopped taking this particular medicine that was in my charts, I said " well it made me very very sick, I just wanted to kill myself," not meaning it in a literal sense and she looked at my sister like I should be committed IMEDIATELY! I was totally kidding, I have never wanted to kill myself therefore I AM NOT BIPOLAR! After dealing with that student Dr. my Dr. came in and gave me the stuff I needed and was so kind about it. He knows me very well and knows that I am not bipolar damnit.

Drunk Drivers and their poor victims.

Look at that beautiful little girl and how happy she is dancing with her Daddy. Little did either of them know that this dance was going to be their last, or shoud I say her last.

Look at this man's face and tell me you don't see a kind hearted giving person. His life was taken from him as well.

Now look at this limo and realize that two lives were taken this night. 1. Was the beautiful little girl, 2. Was the kind hearted man. Now here's their story and where it all ended.

July 2, 2005 is a day that will be burned into the families of those two innocent people FOREVER.

On the night of July 2, 2005 after leaving their daughters wedding Christopher, Denise, Jennifer, Neil and their two daughters Kate and Grace piled into this very limo. Little did they know that only after being in this limo for a short time would their lives come to a screeching halt.

24 yr old Martin Heidgen had 14 drinks and for some odd reason decided to get behind the wheel of his truck and attempt the drive home. After driving northbound in southbound lanes for about 2 miles Martin hit the limo head on at about 70 miles an hr, killing Stanley the limo driver immediately. In the back seat was a scene from a horror movie. Christopher, Denise and Neil were all piled on top of each other Grace was also piled somewhere in the wreckage. Jennifer managed to climb out of the limo with an injured leg searching for her little girl kate who had been laying down on the limo seat. Jennifer got back into the wreckage trying to find kate and emerged with something that would stop everyone dead in their tracks and leave them with nightmares, Kate's head. Kate had been decapatated by her seat belt. Jennifer calmly walked to the side of the high way and sat down with Kate in her lap while watching the rest of her famly being cut from the wreckage. After and hour of watching her life fall apart the cop came and told her it was time to go, Grace needed her now. She calmly looked at the trooper and said " NO I am not going anywhere, I am not leaving Kate". The trooper finally convinced her that he would take Kate and watch over her, it was Grace who needed her now.

Stanley was a 59 yr old limo driver who always offered drunk drivers FREE rides home and incidentally was killed by one. His sons explained his as being the best dad, with a huge heart and great love for them and could not wait to be a Grandpa.

Kate and Stanley's lives were stollen from them in one of the most traggic accidents I think I have ever seen. As i watched this play out on Oprah I could do nothing but cry. They did not deserve this, they did not deserve to be taken from their families and in such a traggic manner.

I have sat and thought about this story all day long. We all have been in a situation or know someone who has been in a situation where drunk driving was involved, and never would any of us think that this could happen to us. For those who drink, drinking one seems harmless and it seems as though you are fine to drive and you would never do anything to harm someone else. But because we are a very selfish society we think that just one will be ok and we will be ok to drive, so we do, we get behind the wheel.

I plead with everyone who reads this to stop being selfish and the next time you drink and think your ok to drive, picture Jennifer sitting on the side of the road with her daughters head in her hands, and know IT DOES HAPPEN! It will happen to you, it happened to them!

To check out the full story go to: http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200706/20070601/slide_20070601_284_101.jhtml

Bankruptcy much!

Everyone has been talking about how high gas prices are, but I really believe that high gas prices is least of our worries. Movie prices are through the roof, who ever heard of paying $4.00 friggen dollars for a medium Diet Coke. I went to the movies this evening and now have to claim bankruptcy because it was so damn expensive! I was in complete shock of that. Imagine a little old man at the counter of a small town cafe complaining about how the price of coffee has gone up a whole dollar since the good ole days, well now picture me and 22 yr old young woman at the candy counter harrassing the workers about the price of milk duds and how I used to pay $150 for them. HAHA Imagine that 17 yr olds face looking at me not knowing what the hell to say to me. I am just so upset about this matter, I am not going to the movie theater EVER again until they decided to come down a bit on the prices!

Chemistry really really sucks! BAD!

So here it is about two weeks in to the summer semester of school and I hate my freaking life right now. I was all positive and enthusiastic about chemistry,I really felt like i would get it and do good. WRONG! I opened the book saw the periodic table and began to heave! I am the kind of person that gets very very stressed and very easy, so trying to read 29 pages of blah blah blah blah copper blah blah atoms blah blah makes me want to stick my head in a bucket of boiling water. Last night i decided to just shut up read the text and do my best, then i started reading and starting crying! I CAN'T DO THIS! I want to know the person who wrote this damn book and throw it at them, and hope that it causes immense damage. SSOO here I sit not doing my chemistry because I am an emotional mess. I have 3 quizzes that have to be completed by 1159 on sunday night! WHAT? who is this damn teacher, because i will cause pain, ALOT OF PAIN! 3 FRIGGEN chapters of some moron going on and on and on AND ON about elements and matter and solutions, I will just kill myself right RIGHT now and i mean it. It doesn't help that my monthly friend will be stopping by for a visit soon, or that my boyfriend is thousands upon thousands of miles away either. So what will i do? I will clean my room because my mother hates me right now and then sit down with this book satan wrote and try to comprehend what it all means and WHY WHY WHY I need to take it!

DEEP DEEP breath, WWWOOOSSAAAWWWW!

I must share something else that has got me so upset that my insides quivver with anger.
In about April I went to this spouses meeting on base, and like I have said before in an earlier blog, the purpose is to prepare you for whats going to happen and such. Well they took a moment to explain to the spouses that are left behind that just because their husbands are gone does not mean that yard work should not be taken care of and further more DO NOT call the squadron and ask for someone to come mow it for you, unless you have medical issues and are unable to, or if you have other special circumstances like you are going on vacation. The whole reason they had to mention this was mostly because of Brett's ex-wife, she would call the squadron during previous deployments and demand that someone come mow her lawn and was very rude about it. Well do you actually think that anyone listened?? NO! About 3 days ago I got on to the spouses website (where we can all communicate complain and plan activites together) and see a post "lawn care", so I open it and read " When will the squadron be coming around to mow the lawns, they did it last year, how do we get that to happen?" and of course my reaction is that of a crazed maniac. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT????? Are you freaking kidding me?? I yell a couple explicits out loud pull my own hair and continue to fume. My mother just looks at me like I have really gone off the deep end. Who the hell are these women?! Here your husband is over in Iraq fighting the war and you can't even get off your fat ass and mow the damn lawn?, and let me just add that the yards are tiny! I mean come on, the least you could do is mow your lawn, most of these women don't have jobs because they have small children that they can't just leave home by themselves. I'll be damned if these obese explicit explicits get outside get the lawn mower out pull the starter cord thing and push the mower back and forth for about 45 mins. EEEWWWW just thinking about it makes me want to bitch slap them. How selfish and duscusting do they get. I would never in a million years expect or ask for someone to come mow my lawn because my husband is deployed. God forbid you should have to shed a sweat bead!

WOW ok thank you for reading that whole thing, it makes me feel so much better! Please stay tuned for future blogs that are likely to rock your socks!

Hi everyone!

SO Me and my mother were watching real world together (oh how sweet) and i wanted to send Brett some fun pictures, so this was what we came up with. Ha Ha Ha poor Brett prly just wishes i wasn't so damn weird!

I just wanted to share with everyone that I LOVE MIDNIGHT WALMART trips. No one is ever there and you can look at the clothes without ppl you know looking at you wondering why the hell your buying a shirt from there, because i do, i buy clothes from there. And by the way i bought a swim suit from there that is so damn cute! Know what else I love, i love apples with carmel and this fabulous yogurt ice cream that my mother bought, I don't like them together but individually they are so super great!

Unseen Heroes

I would like to recognize these often underestimated, unseen, and unheard heroes. This is for the sad military wives, the angry military wives, and the strong military wives. This is for the young women that are waking up at 6 a.m. every morning, laying out clothes and packing three lunches for those small precious children that they have been left alone to care for. This is for the pregnant military wife wondering if her husband will make it home in time to watch their miracle happen. This is for the childless military wife, living in a town or on a base alone where she is a complete stranger to her surroundings. This is for t he women that feel like a third leg when they go out with their friends and their husbands. This is for the military wife that canceled all her plans to wait by the phone, and even though the phone broke up and cut off every time you spoke to him you waited anyway. This is a pledge to the women that cry themselves to sleep in an empty bed. This is to recognize the woman that felt like she was dying inside when he said he had to go, but smiled for him anyway. This is for those of you that are faithfully in that long line at the post office once a month, handling 2 large boxes and 2 small children like a pro. This is for that woman that decided to remodel the house to pass time, and then realized that she had no idea what she was doing and sighed and wished she had a little help. This is for all the lonely nights, all the one-person dinners, and all of the wondering thoughts because you haven't heard from him in days. A toast to you for falling apart and putting yourselves back together. Because a pay check isn't enough, a body pillow in your bed is no consolation, and a web cam can never compare. This is for all of you no matter how easy or hard this was for you. Our marines/soldiers/ airmen/sailors/ coast men are brave, they are heroes, but so are we. So the next time someone tells you that they would never marry a military guy, don't bother explaining to them that you can't control who you fall in love with. Just think of this and nod your head, know that you are the stronger woman. Hold your heads up high, hang that flag in your front yard, stick 100 magnets on your car, and then give yourself a pat on the back.__._,_.___

P.S I love you

So the last week that Brett was home we went and rented some movies, all of which were spectacular! We rented "Lars and the real girl" HILARIOUS!! but at the same time heartbreaking! P.s. I love You was also one we got, and let me just tell you that this movie is just so super great! I was so emotional because i knew that Brett was leaving that I cried aT every damn part in the movie, i could not contain myself the tears just kept rolling.... at one point my dad came down stairs and just stared at me not quite sure what the hell to think, and he started to laugh, apparently my emotional distress cheers him up. SO there is this part in the movie where she hasn't left the house for 3 weeks and on her birthday her friends and family show up to cheer her up and she is having this private performance for her husbands ashes HAHAHAHA she is just belting out this song (this also made me cry hysterically) and was very stunned when she turned aroung and her friends were watching her (i cried more at this part). hhhmmm after rereading this umm i forgot where i was going with this lil story of mine so i guess i'll leave it at that! I really like those movies anyways and everyone should go buy them and share in my happiness.

First stop....MAINE!

Brett left Utah at about 8 this morning and his first stop was in Maine. They had vets there to greet them and give them lots of prizes (that would be my favorite part). There they had to sit for just a short while and off to Germany they go before heading somewhere else to get to IraQ~ Ok that trip alone would make me tell the military where to go! I don't know how they do it but i'm glad they are the ones who do! ANyways they had ppl there taking pictures of them and they were posted shortly after they left. I nabbed a few (only ones of brett) to put on here!~ He looks tired and miserable, he must miss me a whole bunch ;)

Look at Mr.Smiley next to him! Brett wouldn't smile if you had a gun to his head! I love this picture! If you knew brett like i do, you'd know exactly what he's thinking!

He is clear clear back in the corner! I can see his bald head!

Oh how i miss him already!

Ok i don't know who this kid is, but i do want to know where is his mother?? SHouldn't he be breast feeding still?? He is not old enough to be traveling alone, i wonder if the stewardess had to sit with him~ hahahahah

He loves how ppl greet them and show their appreciation towards the troops! nothing makes him happier, well cept me!~

"Oh he's leavin on a jet plane" See you soon baby!

As of 1100 pm tonight I had to drop my baby off to leave for Iraq. I had to keep it a secret now for almost 2 weeks and boy was it KILLING ME! I mean usually i have a pretty big mouth about "secrets" so this was especially hard to keep quiet! I am glad that the goodbye's are over and the 4 months can now begin! I am so proud of my baby for the things he does, this is his 4th year in a row going to Iraq and it can't be easy leaving your life behind. Brett i love yer guts right to pieces i am so proud of you and cannot wait to have you home!

This is right when we pulled up!

As you can tell i am not a happy camper

4 months without those kisses is way to long!

One last hug!

Our memory boxes!

So this is how this one goes.. A couple months ago i went to this spouses meeting on base, the purpose is to explain what is going to happen with your husbands/boyfriends while they are in Iraq and to teach you all this military squeebish ( i made that word up just barely, i think) so you'll know what to expect while their gone. ANYWAYS they had this huge table full of books and a bunch of other informational things that were free for the taking, so of course i need to take one of each (i am very nervous about this whole deployment). One of the books is called "Long distance relationships" it gives a WHOLE bunch of fun things you can do to stay connected and keep the communication alive while your apart. One idea was a "memory box", you get a lil box and put stuff in it or in our case ON IT. The purpose is when your feeling a little sad and down about life you just simply open your box and look through the stuff and it will or should bring a smile to your face. So here are the boxes we are in the process of making! ENJOY!!

I always tease him about getting me a ring, it drives him crazy!

My famous saying is "DDDOOOIIIINNN??" and usually he'll say it back to me!

Ok this one is funny. Without fail anytime Brett leaves the room i always end up having a question or need something so i yell "BBBBAAAAABE". We laugh about it all the time!

He is so artsey fartsey!

"your pooping your little space pants" this is the commercial with the volkswagon bug and the astronaut. The first time we saw this commercial we DIED of laughter for hourss.

This one is from nickelodeon, i can't even explain it, brett can mimick that commercial word for word.

This says it all by itself!

Here goes nothing!

So I keep hearing about this blogging thing and never really thought about having one of my own, but now that Brett is leaving (in T-minus soon) i thought it would be fun to kinda keep a journal of whats going on in our lives. It'll also be fun for him to be able to look at it in IRAQ and keep track of me!